Dear God,
Dear God,
It's been a while since I've asked you how you've been, I'm sorry for my selfishness, when we talk its always about me. How are you? I know you've seen a lot of disappointment from my end, but I know you've looked past that because of your loving kindness and mercy. You know I try. I feel small saying that, almost as if its an excuse because I know that no matter how hard I try, I can always do better. My efforts aren't shallow, they're honest and deep, you know that God, but you know that they are far and few. I don't ever mean to disappoint you. Please forgive me.
Lord, I'm weak. You and I are constantly together, many many times I've felt your presence and seen your work in my life. Yet for some reason I still get scared, I lose hope, I lose faith, I get mad and upset, I let my emotions push my mind into thinking I'm alone and it hurts. A lot of things hurt. When I come to you, you take the hurt away, and for some reason when the hurt is gone, I find myself going down the same road again till I hurt. God I don't want to hurt, I don't want to feel weak. I know you're with me all the time, why do I lose myself this way? Is my faith weak? Please help me to strengthen it, please help me to cling to you, please don't let go of me even if for some reason I let go. Please God.
I don't know what to say God, you know what's inside me and I can't even put it into words. If I tried it would just be a long list of emotions that went on forever. Everything from fear, being lost, confusion, pain, alone-ness, loneliness to the complete opposite of peace, safe, serene, hopeful...so many things all inside me and they contradict each other and distress me, I can't explain it but you know it all.
I know you've blessed me with so many blessings and I've grown to take them for granted. I'm sorry, I just become blinded by negativity and darkness, I need you to be my light. Its not that I am ungrateful, but I get caught up in every little thing in my life and I forget that you're there to take care of me.
God I'm so sorry, I squander and waste all the gifts you've given me. I don't know what to do God. You know inside me I try hard. Please God, don't let me go, you've promised. I want to continue feeling you and seeing you more and more in my life. I want to know that you're my father and my best friend, I need you all the time for everything. I truly do. I really miss you.
Love,
fady
It's been a while since I've asked you how you've been, I'm sorry for my selfishness, when we talk its always about me. How are you? I know you've seen a lot of disappointment from my end, but I know you've looked past that because of your loving kindness and mercy. You know I try. I feel small saying that, almost as if its an excuse because I know that no matter how hard I try, I can always do better. My efforts aren't shallow, they're honest and deep, you know that God, but you know that they are far and few. I don't ever mean to disappoint you. Please forgive me.
Lord, I'm weak. You and I are constantly together, many many times I've felt your presence and seen your work in my life. Yet for some reason I still get scared, I lose hope, I lose faith, I get mad and upset, I let my emotions push my mind into thinking I'm alone and it hurts. A lot of things hurt. When I come to you, you take the hurt away, and for some reason when the hurt is gone, I find myself going down the same road again till I hurt. God I don't want to hurt, I don't want to feel weak. I know you're with me all the time, why do I lose myself this way? Is my faith weak? Please help me to strengthen it, please help me to cling to you, please don't let go of me even if for some reason I let go. Please God.
I don't know what to say God, you know what's inside me and I can't even put it into words. If I tried it would just be a long list of emotions that went on forever. Everything from fear, being lost, confusion, pain, alone-ness, loneliness to the complete opposite of peace, safe, serene, hopeful...so many things all inside me and they contradict each other and distress me, I can't explain it but you know it all.
I know you've blessed me with so many blessings and I've grown to take them for granted. I'm sorry, I just become blinded by negativity and darkness, I need you to be my light. Its not that I am ungrateful, but I get caught up in every little thing in my life and I forget that you're there to take care of me.
God I'm so sorry, I squander and waste all the gifts you've given me. I don't know what to do God. You know inside me I try hard. Please God, don't let me go, you've promised. I want to continue feeling you and seeing you more and more in my life. I want to know that you're my father and my best friend, I need you all the time for everything. I truly do. I really miss you.
Love,
fady
posted by Shine | 2/13/2007 09:43:00 AM
1 Comments:
Fady I greet you with peace and love. I have something wonderful to share with you. God is with you Fady and His being is the very essence of what you are. Don't feel He is disappointed in you. The Creator of all Creation is beyond the emotional constraints that hinder us. Though we try to make Him in our image, it is we who were made in His. Our souls are that image Fady. They are reflections of the Divine. This is the greatest and most merciful gift given to us. Your true self is your soul and not the flesh you animate. God is love and joy and mercy and kindness; He is the pure, unadulterated source of everything good in us.
'Unadulterated' is what we must become. Our single act of adultery is the binding of our true selves to the material world upon and within which we reside. This is not a matter of lust or greed or any other 'acts'. Rather it is the desire to experience life through the flesh and every other material thing without asking 'how does this bring me nearer to the Lord?' or rather, 'I know that my experiences in the material world are to bring me closer to our Lord; how does this one bring me closer?' If we do not ask this then we are committing adultery by binding our true selves to a physical experience without appreciating God’s glory and then seeking the lesson that resides within it.
We can not experience prosperity, friendship, our families, our tragedies or even the beauty of the natural world without trying to understand how each experience glorifies the unadulterated mercy & compassion of our most compassionate Father. And just as we should not hoard the products and sensations of the material world and then refuse to seek the answers that reside within them, we must not hoard God's glory, His love, His mercy, or His compassion. Instead we must share it with everyone we can so that we all draw nearer to Him. This is the answer I see and struggle with. Forget sins. Forget damnation. Forget all those things that put fear in your heart Fady. In their place remember the glory of the Lord: the love, the mercy, the compassion and the peace bestowed upon us by that unadulterated source of all that's good within us and all creation. Let that glory guide you to learn the lesson that is within every triumph and every tragedy. Learn it and give it away.
God knows what & who we are; He created us. We are not expected to be perfect or to get it right all the time. We are not machines. We are creatures with freewill. We are the Lord’s children not His slaves. We are supposed to struggle with the adultery committed by our eternal souls and our impermanent flesh. It’s ok. God has known this would happen. He is not disappointed in you Fady. God loves you in a way that words can not convey and that minds can not comprehend. Your true self is yearning to emulate the Father. Let it.
God loves you Fady and I love you too. Now it's your turn.
Post a Comment
<< Home